막/幕/Veil

Program Note

Has anything you did ever felt as if it passed through some kind of veil and was understood differently? Since I was very young, I have lived with the worry that others might see me through a veil of prejudice and misunderstand me. This fear grew stronger after I came to the United States. My words and actions seemed to pass through a veil of “because she is Asian, because she came from somewhere else” before reaching others, and with Koreans, they seemed to pass through another veil of “because she is Korean, she should say this” before being understood. This may be nothing more than my own illusion, or maybe it is reality. But what is certain is that because of it, I have changed, and I have become lonely.

I sometimes wonder, what if my true self is still behind the veil, and what people actually see is not me but just my shadow? And when I try to become one of them, when I change myself to fit their expectations, could it be that my real self is disappearing, and my shadow is what I’m becoming?